if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Houston, we have a blender
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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