she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
