all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
