in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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