I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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