What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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