i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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