Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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