Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
