used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize