I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize