Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
