My liver just broke up with me...
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
