I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
As shirtless as possible
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I believe in your delicious
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