walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
