is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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