Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
please come you make the beer taste better
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Green mimosas i think yes
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
