did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
