I'm really into asian looking animals
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
