I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Floor bacon is actually really good
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
