He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
