my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
