shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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