he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
