i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
