have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
