Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
