people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
