Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
How external is "for external use only"?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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