last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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