I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
