So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Randomize
