After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
did i walk over a car last night?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
