So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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