you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
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There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
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Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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