We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
