Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
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