garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
