My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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