I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
nutella sex= disaster
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
