Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Say something about gay babies.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
