Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
honey bunches of taint.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
