dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
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