Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
