I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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