She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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