I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Just high enough for therapy.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You are a genius and a whore.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
