this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
This baby is an asshole
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
