I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
