I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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