I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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