insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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