I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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