I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize