About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
My ATM looks so different sober.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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