Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
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I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
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My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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