if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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