I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
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wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
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Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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