I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
