what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Rumble strips road head = magical
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
