What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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