Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Randomize
