the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
