If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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