whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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