at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize