Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
