Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
