i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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