I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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