you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
