Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
It's rum buckets o'clock
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
