dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
