Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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