You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
