Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
